I am working on shaping a new life for myself, something realistic, something that has achievable goals and yet still holds my creativity in high regard.

It turns out I am the black sheep of the family, I didn't want the day to come but I can't help from realizing that they are nothing like me. My brother is following the family business by working for a bank, currently employed in southern Vermont I see him maybe once every four months. I see my mother a little more often, but that is only when I can find some reason to tear her away from her boyfriend.

Her birthday is tomorrow and I can't cook her celebration dessert properly cause she doesn't have a baking pan big enough for her casserole dish to put in a bain-marie. I hope it comes out good cause she wasn't expecting me or my brother to come to her house for her birthday. I was astonished that she thought so poorly of me that I wouldn't consider having a party for her... >_< I don't care how old she is or if she wants to forget about it, she does it for me it is the least I can bloody well do for her.

Just cause I dye my hair, get bad grades, and kill every relationship I have means I get to be the black sheep... I was told that if I get a piercing or tattoo I would be cut off... haha soon... soon and they won't be able to say a thing.

I am finally starting to work harder and faster on my literature and I believe that I will be the first to make my family known. I will not give in I will not give up, I will not end up in a fucking bank